Having Children in your Wedding Party?

Want to enjoy the charm of having children in your wedding party while avoiding disaster? Here are a few tips:

DO consider the ages of your young attendants. There is nothing like the sound of a wailing child during your ceremony. A good guideline is ages 4 to 10 for ring bearers and flower girls, and 11 to 15 for junior bridesmaids and ushers.

DO include the children in the rehearsal so they can practice their parts and become familiar with the setting. Plenty of rehearsal will help relieve any anxiety on the part of the child, (and yours too!)

DO invite the children to the reception, along with their parents. Have them bring a change of clothes so they can eat and run around without ruining their nice clothes.

DO seat the parents of the children on the aisle, in one of the front pews so they can intervene if something goes wrong. And let the children know where the parents will be sitting.

DO assign a relative (or hire a baby-sitter) to supervise young attendants at the reception.

DO choose outfits that will be comfortable for the children to wear.

DO thank the children for their participation with a gift. Thank their parents, as well, perhaps with a nicely framed photograph of their child in the wedding.

DON'T invite children to attend an evening rehearsal dinner or other pre-wedding parties.

DON'T insist on a cummerbund, bow tie, or other accessory if a child resists wearing it.

Whatever happens, be patient with the children. Even with the most well-behaved children things can go wrong. And although their performance may not be perfect, it will give you and your guests something to remember.